


6 reasons Miya Atsumu is a dickwad; and one reason he isn't

by runningfromrealitytoanime



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Osamu is so done with his brother, Suna is the meme lord, Trolling your twin, Wanting to just make Atsumu miserable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:34:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27727535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningfromrealitytoanime/pseuds/runningfromrealitytoanime
Summary: Miya Atsumu.Older twin brother to one Miya Osamu, annoying twin extradionaire that should have been eaten in the womb and the most talented setter on the Japan National team (according to himself that is).Here are six reasons why Miya Atsumu is a dickwad, and the one time he isn’t.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu
Kudos: 43





	6 reasons Miya Atsumu is a dickwad; and one reason he isn't

**Author's Note:**

> Who could ever not think the Miya twins are a bunch of morons who deserve all the love in the world? The last episode had me cracking up so bad and I just feel Aran for having to deal with these two morons all the time, bless him and Inarizaki High School VB hahahahhaa!
> 
> Just a random one shot on them and how Osamu really sees his big bro of a twin.
> 
> Enjoy!

Miya Atsumu.

Older twin brother to one Miya Osamu, annoying twin extradionaire that should have been eaten in the womb and the most talented setter on the Japan National team (according to himself that is).

Here are six reasons why Miya Atsumu is a dickwad, and the one time he isn’t.

  1. **He steals stuff; specifically food.**



“Tsumu!” Osamu yells as he rummages through the fridge. He had a very a very bad feeling on what happened to the entire plate of onigiri he had been saving for the past day to binge after a long volleyball practice session that day. He had even added ingredients such as wasabi just so a certain blonde wouldn’t eat them and yet..

“Holy shit, who put wasabi in this?!” Atsumu yells from upstairs as Osamu slams the fridge before screaming, “Atsumu!” He races up the stairs, slamming into their shared room to find Atsumu having already eaten every single one of the onigiri he had made despite the fact he had added quite a high amount of wasabi in each one (he used an entire tube just for five of them!).

“You stupid little…” Osamu growls as Atsumu races to the window, trying to climb out as his twin yanks him back inside and proceeds to beat the living shit out of him.

  1. **He always gets Osamu into trouble with Kita (even if he is innocent; not really, you’re often as bad as him, says one Suna Rintarou)**



The twins sat in a geiza position in front of an unsmiling Captain Kita Shinsuke, the older boy with his arms crossed as he eyes them. the two of them sported several bruises on their faces, with Atsumu having lost a clump of his hair which now remained fisted in Osamu’s hand as Kita says very, very slowly.

“Osamu.” Osamu flinches at his words as Kita continues, “Why did you have to pull out Atsumu’s hair?”

“What? He called me a stupid spiker who couldn’t even spike a ball.” Sure, he may have overreacted but still, he had been having a very long day! The only thing that seemed to get the shit out of his system was giving Atsumu a piece of his mind or in this case, ripping out a piece of his hair.

“Atsumu, why did you have to provoke your brother?”

“What?! He is a useless scrub!” That earned a jab in the ribs from Osamu before Atsumu snarls, pouncing onto his twin as the two of them began to roll on the ground. Kita doesn’t move even as Suna begins filming the entire thing, snickering about how this was going to make him go viral on Twitter as Kita snaps, “Boys!” Both immediately stopped moving as their captain towered over them, the two shaking in their bones as he snarls.

“Cleaning the toilets for the two of you until the end of the year!”

  1. **He doesn’t know how to keep himself alive aka cook**



“We leave ya boys for an hour! One hour, and yer telling us tha you nearly burnt the house down?!” Mrs Miya screeches as smoke rises into the air, more specifically from the kitchen window. The fire brigade had arrived at the scene, the neighbours out and about wondering what was going on this time in the Miya household as Atsumu yells, “It ain’t my fault I dunno how ta boil water!”

“Ya use a kettle!”

“I tried but it burnt!”

“How do you burn a freaking kettle?”

“And maybe I tried ta fry an egg.”

“You’re never getting into the kitchen again, Tsumu! Ya hear?!”

  1. **He’s the reason why the Miya twins are trending on Twitter (for the wrong reasons!)**



“Sunarin! Why the hell ya uploaded this damn video?!” Osamu screeches as he tries his best not to choke his best friend. The middle blocker merely smiles as he raises his phone, recording already on as he smirks, “Oh come on. Its not all the time your teammates consists of two knucklehead twins who are basically a walking meme.”

“What about consent?”

“Oya? What does that even mean?” It was no secret that Suna had an account literaly entitled “Adventures of the Miya Twins” that trended throughout Hyogo and was even garnering attention across Japan. Instead of being well known as the Miya twins from volleyball, people were beginning to call them the meme duo who had more volleyballs for brains.

“That’s more for Tsumu, not me!”

“Too bad you share the same face with him.”

“Take it back, Rin!”

“Nope.”

  1. **People confess to Osamu instead of Atsumu and makes things hella awkward**



“Atsumu-kun! I like you! Can you go out with me?” the girl squeaks as Osamu sighs. Today was Valentine’s day, the most dreaded day of the year for him. For some unknown reason and whatever was wrong with the brains of women, Atsumu seemed to be gathering more fans by the year despite his rotten attitude.

If someone wanted to confess to Atsumu, why the hell couldn’t they even recognise him? Sure they had the same face and hairstyle and… yup, basically everything.

“Sorry, you got the wrong guy.”

It would always end up with the person getting their heart broken afterwards by Atsumu or the twin just roaring with laughter at the number of times Osamu had to go to his desk to find chocolates or letters meant for his twin. Not like Osamu always gave anything to him; he needed to pay interest for making his life extra miserable with all the shit he had to go through.

“Why would anyone even want you when you’re the ugly twin?”

“Shuddup, Samu! I’m more handsome then you!”

“Girls must be mad to even go after you.”

“Who is the one who managed to get confessed ten times during Valentine’s day eh?” Next thing he knew, Atsumu was dangling from their class window as Osamu threatened to drop him to the ground below, their teacher begging for them to stop as people tried not to upload the scene on social media.

  1. **He makes Osamu thirdwheel at ungodly hours of the night**



“I swear to the gods above Tsumu, if ya think that she will be awake at this damn hour for this damn prank…” Osamu hisses as they stood in the yard of one of Atsumu’s girlfriends. Osamu had lost count on how many Atsumu had dated, with him painfully remaining at zero as his brother kicked him in the shin.

“Shuddup and hoist me up!” he hisses, Osamu moving to raise him up just so he could go back and sleep. He was wobbling on his feet as he hoisted his twin onto his shoulders, the older Miya rapping his knuckles on the window above just as a single head peeked out.

“Hey babe, did I wake ya?” Atsumu grins as the girl giggles. Osamu rolls his eyes, wishing he could just tune out the conversation between the two lovers as they kissed, wishing he could just up and leave when the lights to the girl’s room flicked open and a man could be heard roaring from inside.

“What the hell are ya doing with my daughter?!” a man, no doubt the girl’s father shouts as Atsumu lets out a shout, startling Osamu as the two of them came crashing to the ground. The two barely had time to scramble up and run for their lives as the man rang the cops, Kita not pleased that they spent a good 24 hours in a cell for trespassing people’s property.

The twins were grounded from anything but school and volleyball for a good three months and Osamu nearly strangled Atsumu for nearly getting his ass kicked by the father as well.

**The one reason you should actually like or even remotely tolerate Miya Atsumu**

Even though he is an idiot, asshole and most annoying sibling in the world 99.9999% of the time, he can be a good brother. As much as Osamu hated to admit, he could act like the older brother he was meant to be.

When Osamu was sick, he would bring him food and pudding (or what was left of it since he insisted he needed to cool the food down before giving it to his ailing twin).

Or he would race him every time they had to run a race for training or PE; and essentially cause both of them to nearly trip over each other while crossing the finish line just to piss the other off.

Or he would yell at Osamu to become better at spiking and made him train until ungodly hours after training only to see them both shine on the court.

Even when he refused to speak with him for weeks after Osamu declared he wouldn’t be going pro after high school, he spoke to him (not like he could avoid him since they lived in the same room).

“Do what you want. Even if ya are a shit little bro, I will be there for ya.”

Through high school and volleyball games, through broken first loves and moving away from home, Miya Atsumu was always there with Osamu.

…

“And that ends by speech for the groom,” Osamu smiles as he puts the paper down. Several of their teammates sat around a table, all of them laughing and clapping as Atsumu blushed red. The man of the hour had been thoroughly embarrassed by some tik tok videos Suna had created for the event and decided to post online beforehand before getting roasted by his younger twin. The bride had been both amused at how her husband was such a goof during his high school days, not too far off the mark from how he had grown as a man across the years.

Despite everything they had been through, Osamu was glad to have the man as his brother.

“To the groom, to the bride. May you always be satisfied with one another. Congratulations on your wedding!” Osamu smiles as he raised his glass, his twin sobbing as he raised his own. His now-wife clung onto his arm as they drank the night away, Osamu letting his tears fall freely as he drank from his glass.

Even if time and space separated the Miya brothers apart, nothing could ever separate the brotherly bond they had for one another.

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on Tumblr and Twitter @runningfromrealitytoanime!
> 
> All kudos and comments are appreciated and really make my day!


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